Lost? Never.

Where would you go if you knew you could never get lost?

That question has run laps in my head all week. I wrote a bit about this a couple weeks ago, but it's gaining momentum in my life and there is a sense of urgency even as I write this. Psalm 139 speaks so plainly about God's guidance. He's leading me. Period. If Jesus Christ dictates my every step, I will absolutely not get lost. I won't fall through the cracks. I won't take a wrong turn, and neither will anyone else committed to following Him. 

I will be led by still waters. I will be led through dark valleys. I will watch the sunrise. I will be led through fire. And I will be led home. He will lead, and I will follow. 

Where would you go if you knew you could never get lost? 

Would you move to the city? To the country? The burbs? Would you switch jobs? Would you ask her out? Would you stay put? Would you save or spend? Would you submit that article? Would you say you're sorry? Would you ...? 

Goodness. When life surpasses the limits of my understanding, I am so comforted to know that nothing extends beyond God, for He has no boundaries. There is nowhere that He is not. Crazy. 

Run for Their Lives

Blonde Curly
Big Blue
Roly Poly
Sassy Red
Brilliant
Beautiful
Freckles
Average Joe
Chatterbox
Adventurer
Bookworm


These words describe children that have not yet taken their first breath -- and may never take their first breath. We can help them at least make it to that first moment. Life Network is doing everything they can to educate and equip mothers-to-be, and they've given all of us the privilege to help out! This organization is hosting a 5K fundraiser on June 5th to support the efforts of Life Network, and I need your help. In order to run, I need to raise $150 minimum. I've already raised $105, so I only have $45 to go!!

For every $150 raised, LN can provide services for three moms and their babies. These services include ultrasound appointments, housing, medical services, mentoring, counseling and too many more to list here.

With your help, I can run 3 miles and help 3 mothers choose life. I can't wait to run for these little boys and girls! Want to help? Click here to visit my sponsor page: 2010 Walk for Life

Thank you, thank you, thank you in advance for your heart and for your participation in this!

p.s. My co-worker is also in the race. He's going to beat me...maybe lap me. I want to win the only thing I have a shot at: the fundraiser!  :)

An Old Melody

An old tune was reintroduced to my little head recently. It was a simple melody with astonishing clarity...the kind that gets stuck in your head and follows you no matter how far you run, and no matter how many other songs you try to sing in its place.

I heard it in DC, faintly, as if it came from another room. I was learning the words when I returned home, and now I sing it every day. It's the song of Faith that isn't really a song at all, but it brings music to the soul anyway. It was time to be reminded to live by faith, not by sight. It's ironic that I become restless at the same moment I am reminded of faith. To follow Christ is to die to self, to surrender to His will. So...where do I go? What do I do? When? How? Who? I work into a mental tizzy and then remember who puts air in my lungs and who allows my pupils to see color, depth and movement. {I find it fascinating that when I wake up in the morning, my eyes open and I can see out of the two spheres planted in my head.}

The same Jesus who calmed the wind and waves is the same Jesus who called me and promises to guide me whether I ascend to the highest heavens or dive to the uttermost depths of the sea. If I'm in His boat, I'm safe. If I follow Him, He won't lead me astray. I hear about this everywhere I go, see it in everything I read,  think about it in my spare time. I want to get this. When life gets claustrophobic because I'm so focused on ME, the only way to get out and see the big blue sky again is to realize who this God is and open myself to His way. His is the good way, and it's the only way that will get me home.

The chorus of my tune is this: faith equals action. I have to move! I have to step forward and follow. I have to be up for the ride. But really, when we know where we're going and who's driving, we can enjoy the crazy adventure for all it is...and bid our farewells to the boring life. I'm in.

The Good East

I've learned not to plaster my forehead against airplane windows because you can always tell when someone does. The grease smear makes me lose my appetite and get real friendly with whoever shares my armrest. So I admired Washington DC through the window, not on the window. The view from the air prepared me for life on the ground. The stately lawns, aged trees and manicured drives all suggested established intelligence. In the fading sun, the monuments and government buildings seemed to sparkle. It was all over for me before I even hit the runway.

photo credit: playing in traffic

When I stepped into thick, warm air and saw boat shoes and driving moccasins everywhere I looked, I knew it would be a good week. Is it crazy to you that people live amongst so much history? The trail by the Potomac River was swarming with joggers and bikers, as though it was no big deal that the Jefferson Memorial was right there. I thought about moving just so I could run there. I was caught off guard that entire week. It was, after all, a work trip. Who would've thought it would change my life?

I arrived on a Sunday evening. Monday morning came, I set to work at 8:00 a.m. and didn't look up until Thursday afternoon at 4:00 p.m. Our events flew by and from all I could see, were fairly seamless. The week began with a dinner cruise on the Potomac River and ended with a morning meeting in the Cannon House Office Building. I met some incredible people, and after months of emails and phone chats, was finally able to put a face with a voice. There's something different about people who genuinely love the Lord, and there's an unforgettable dynamic when they get together in a big group.

To end the week, I spent Friday with JT doing all her favorite things. She's a film editor in DC, lives in a charming old house in Arlington and drives a zippy little city car. And she has an incredible soul. Yep, the whole kit and kaboodle, right in one spot. We ate sushi, explored old book stores, drank coffee and tea, and saw the Givers l-i-v-e at the Black Cat.

Some things I discovered:

Mussels are not for me. They feel more like I'm eating a tongue made of flab rather than muscle.

A hammock, even for 15 minutes, can almost be enough to cure all ails.

If I ever moved to DC, it would be to Georgetown. I need to start saving. Yesterday.

I'm still capable of being undone in one fell swoop.

God sometimes answers prayer in the most unexpected ways.

I like boats!

I hope to visit again. Soon.

The Secret Spot

I snuck into the resource room at work yesterday on my lunch break to catch a few moments of silence. This is my secret spot. The resource room is a library and presentation room, but behind the wall of bookcases is a balcony that overlooks the auditorium and cafeteria. The only thing behind the bookcases is one square table and two or three office chairs. Hardly glamourous. The beauty of this place is that no one knows you're there. Fantastic people-watching would be available from that spot, but it feels too creepy to watch people from above when they really have no idea you're there. That's not fair. And I always ask myself what I would do if someone really did look up at the same moment I looked at them. I would die. And maybe get fired.

I wheeled a chair to the table and sat down. I looked up and jumped. There was Jim. He'd followed me in and told me that I was in his secret spot. Everyone understands that you don't join someone when they're in their secret spot unless invited, so we exchanged a few words and he left. I got settled into my book and a few minutes later, a woman I'd never met poked her head around the corner and jumped. I was in her secret spot, and she said so.

The only reason I know about this spot is because my friend invited me once to have lunch with her in her secret spot. That day, we were the only ones there for the entire hour, so I adopted it as my secret spot too. Either this building does not have many private areas, or we humans are far less original than I hoped.

This aspect of life humors me. Most of our originality has many similarities. During my brief retail stint last year, I saw that everyone had a different style or way of expressing the same thing. For example, you do not come between customers and their coupons. Some would present their coupons organized in a file folder. Others would shuffle through their purse and give me coupons from all types of stores, leaving it to me to sort. Some would leave everything at the register and go to the car to fetch that one coupon. One customer brought in a stack of soggy coupons in a Ziploc. She saw my puzzled look and explained how she dug them out of her trash can. Okay, that was original. But it was still going to dramatic lengths to save money. I respect that.

It's amazing to me how we are all so remarkably different, with different reasons for doing things but with the same desires. It's the differences that bind us. That's how we learn. Something Obama said that I actually liked was, "We find unity in our incredible diversity." I think even in that diversity, we are the same. We will always be human. You might be surprised at who you find in your secret spot.

Scary Lovin

Fear is the enemy of love. 

I don't often read novels, but The Shape of Mercy recently came highly recommended from a friend, so I'm reading. Last night, I read the above quote by St. Augustine on the dedication page and I paused to decide whether or not I agreed. 

Enemies are, by definition, opposed. An enemy is an adversary, out to conquer the opponent. The only way to lose an enemy is to kill it or to befriend it. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. When the enemies are ideas rather than people, friendship can't be possible. Fear and love...can they co-exist? I could end the argument right here with 1 John 4:18, "There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear." True. So why is there still so much fear surrounding love? The key phrase there was perfect love. Perfection. Hardly how I describe my love. 

Let's face it. If perfect love can't exist among humans, that leads to one conclusion: fear exists in love. But fear doesn't get comfortable, or love wouldn't survive. It's interesting. Fear can fight hard once and kill love for good, but love can fight hard once and win, but never completely kill fear. It lurks, and pounces when you least expect it. To love is to fight a constant battle with fear. BUT to fear is to never truly live at all. Living in fear is not really living because you never do anything with all your heart. We fear rejection, we fear failure, we fear giving everything we have for something that doesn't satisfy. Is that reason enough to forfeit? I would rather live a short life with all my heart then live a dreadfully safe life well into my 90s. 

One of my best friends and I have had several battles with fear in our own friendship. I recall refusing to look at her, facing the corner opposite her in our hotel bathroom as she faced her corner. Two 14-year-old girls, on a school road-trip to California, fighting because we were scared of keeping the friendship the way it was. But we were more afraid of losing the friendship altogether. That's where love kicked in. We've made it through some bumps since and I dare say there's a good chance we'll make it all the way to the end. 

What if we lived in a world where love never conquered fear, or was never willing to put up a good fight? What if good never defeated evil? What if life never conquered death? Spring never conquered winter? 

I wouldn't have the little pink blossom tree to eat breakfast with every morning. 

I would never be hanging off the back of a tricycle like this one.

Little Jonny wouldn't have to try to forget this haircut I once gave him. 

This definitely wouldn't happen.

We wouldn't enjoy some of the world's very best music. 

We wouldn't travel or explore.

We wouldn't smile.

We wouldn't hope. 

We wouldn't have a Savior that offers life to the fullest.

What I'm trying to say is, St. Augustine, I never thought I would get so much out of reading the dedication page of a novel. But I agree with you. Fear is the enemy of love. 

And fear is worth fighting if love is the prize. 

twenty-five.

Yep. I'm 25. Three more of these and I'll be 100. It's so dadgum painful to leave behind the carefree days of running barefoot in the grass and climbing trees whenever you please. Those ended a long time ago, but for some reason 25 says one thing to me: Adult. The good news is, 25 is still too young for mom-butt jeans and PTA meetings, and it's too old for prom and all-nighters before the final exam. It's perfect, really.

My birthday fell on a Saturday this year, so I played the whole day! Ate pancakes with the roomies and then brother Jonny and I walked around Old Colorado City and ended up at Agia Sophia for chai lattes. We met up with friends at Amanda's Fonda in Manitou for some Mexican eats. This place is one of a kind. To-die-for chips and salsa, burritos bigger than Chipotle...oh! and an entire staff that sings happy birthday. With a sombrero to boot. I got to wear this beauty for far too long.

Mom and Dad hosted a dessert party at their place, so we drove up the hill to laugh and eat some sweets. Triple layer chocolate cake was on the menu, along with carrot cake, berry pie, cream cheese tarts and cheesecake. Mom can throw a party.

25 candles.

I avoided the intense game of SET at risk of getting severely irritated at my lack of skill. My sister dominates every. single. time. Dominates. She's the one in the black. Notice that sly, cat-like look on her face. It's like she knows everything that's going on but isn't saying a word. I know that look and I avoid it, especially when it comes to games.

We all ended up playing "The Bowl Game" and laughing hysterically the rest of the night. My life is bursting with incredible people, and so many of them were at the party. I am so happy and blessed to know so many quality people in one place at one time. Thanks to everyone who came, and to MOM AND DAD for hosting! xo