Monday, December 7, 2009


The blog has been drowned out the last couple weeks, and my brain has been churning but unable to write.  Call it brain hiccups. I don't even have a specific topic tonight, but I do need to write, so I hope whatever comes out makes sense. 

I've been heavy with a new sense of responsibility that hit early November. I am suddenly aware of what an adult life requires, and am thus working hard to put things in place. I was terribly unlike myself for about a year after college, and for the past year have been rebuilding some of what was lost and deciding to leave some things completely out. It's a tortoise race, but progress is being made. 

I believe some children spend their childhoods pretending to be adults, and end up being lousy playmates  but very competent adults. I also believe that some adults spend their adulthoods pretending to be children, and end up being poor at both. I was a child that loved my childhood and remember so many moments filled with wonder and magic. I thought being an adult would come easily, but for some reason it's taking conscious effort. Budgeting, meal planning, furniture shopping, maintaining relationships, setting goals and achieving them, staying active, deciding what's really important and sticking to it, these are all moving parts that I can't always juggle. I want to be good at being grown-up, but I don't want to lose the magic of life. There must be a way to do both. 

Maturity comes with making decisions, with deciding who you're going to be and why, and continuing on even if few others join you. That is the Christian life; it's narrow, it's often difficult, and it requires c-o-m-m-i-t-m-e-n-t of the purest kind. 

I'll have to finish my thoughts later...heading to the gym (regretfully, as it's 4 degrees outside). 


  1. all mature relations require commitment of the purest kind , else they become adultery ,
    and remember commitment is not a one time decision , it is a series of decisions one after the other which tests the mettle of ur commitment , a very old promise can be broken in a matter or a single decision, its only when one overcomes the temptations to break free shall one find peace.. take care

  2. I'm guessing I'm only about 3 years older than you, so I know the same or just a little more than you which is due to experience alone. This is what I've realized.

    There are 3 types of people.
    1) Those that spend a lot of time trying to savor their youth and live it out in an exciting and vivacious way, however, they tend to forget about their future and making decisions that will benefit them with only a little discipline This person tends to be broke, immature, lonely, and potentially shallow. But their life is still more exciting that their counterpart.

    2) Person number two gets too serious about life and look for marriage, a career, a retirement account, and looks to their future without remembering to live for today. (This may be where I am) This person does not see that there is a great life all around them right now. They miss it. They propably not fun to be around because they aren't living in the moment.

    There are positives and negatives to both of these.

    Person #3 finds the perfect balance.

    This person doesn't procrastinate doing the important things in life like taxes, 401k's, getting a degree. But this person also remembers that life is too short to forget to play and enjoy the one and most important thing on earth, people.

    Person #2 often forgets people in search of establishing their future.

    Person #1 often thinks too much of themselves, so they are ill-equipped to experience people the way they should.

    Not many people end up balancing this out perfectly, that's why it's nice to know we have a lifetime to get it right.

  3. it is hard to be a good grownup, especially when we are called to be child-like and MUST, somehow, keep a sense of wonder at and faith in the world. and the Maker of the world.
    i'm not a very good grownup most days, but i'm better than i used to be. keep at it. =)