2009, meet 2010.

Helloooo all of you who are on your computers right now as opposed to celebrating the collision of 2009/2010. I'll be out there shortly. Nap first. Then grocery store. Then celebration.

There are some grand plans in the works for life in general during 2010. New beginnings are so inspiring, no? New apartment, new job, new year!! It's good. If all goes well, I will be paying visits to some of our nation's more drool-worthy cities (yes! cities!) and of course, reporting all of it right here.

I am also brainstorming ways to make the blog more worthy of your time. It has somehow morphed into a public diary...which, quite frankly, is not ideal! We may experience growing pains, but bear with me. Hopefully it will be an interesting, inspiring little stop on the web.

I will leave you with this completely unrelated yet helpful hint: eat apples last. If you eat them first, they rot under the food you put on top of them, resulting in you and the innocent bystanders experiencing some level of discomfort. Two different sources have told me this in the past month! It must be true.

Wouldn't it be lovely to be in Paris for New Year's?

Merry Christmas!!

Happy, Merry Christmas to you! Enjoy a rich celebration of God's abundant grace in granting us Immanuel, 'God with us.'

May your bellies be filled, your hearts warmed, and your lips smooched under the mistletoe.

Have an unforgettable holiday. xo

This Little Room

The icy wind is howling against my window, and I'm huddled under the blanket trying to warm my toes. I look around my room at the piles of my belongings, all ready to move to their new home. This is one of my last nights here, and I'm noticing every detail of this room I love so much. It hardly seems possible that over a year ago I left my Los Angeles life behind and followed my few boxes out to my parents' Colorado home.

The life to which I bid farewell almost seems like the life of a close friend, not my own. Sometimes I don't want to remember any piece of it, but what I've come to realize is that I will never forget most of what happened. It was a life of wondering if I was literally going crazy; of being stuck between decisions that, in my mind, rivaled choosing between loss of sight or loss of hearing -- either one leaves you without something you don't want to live without; and of things getting only worse the harder I worked to make them better.

One of the lessons I've learned in this little room is that freedom and redemption are waiting if you'll only ask for it. My goal should not be to forget the hard things but to redeem every single one of them. Jesus is the only place to go for complete wholeness, and I'm still learning this. I still get nauseous sometimes when I sit down to speak with Jesus. He can rub you raw, but it's a healing rub. He promises never to leave us or forsake us, and that promise is stronger than anything.

Right before I left California, I was a skeleton in every sense. Mom and Dad offered a safe place where I could drag my weary bones and stay awhile, so I accepted the offer and moved in with nothing to give. Depleted to the core, I set about the task of recovering. There were times I longed to sense God's comforting presence. It had been so long since I'd acknowledged that, but He held me close to His chest just like a father. He rescued me, and everything has changed.

Colossians 1: 13-14 says, "He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of His beloved Son, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins." Indeed He has. This room has been the spot for so many significant moments in my heart this past year, it's strange to leave. But the room I'm moving to will have a story all its own, and I can't wait to live it. 

This blog was born during that first month home. Here are the words from the first post: White walls signal new beginnings. An empty room with white walls is the most welcome place for change as the only thing to do is to add color, design and function. The finished room depends entirely on the vision of the designer. This is where I am -- I've been emptied out, swept, painted white and primed for renovation. My architect and designer are One, and He will put His mastery on display as He completes the room according to His initial design. This designer is Jesus, the Redeemer, the only one who can create life out of death and make old things truly new. This blog will serve as the place I describe the color, the furniture, the artwork, and even the fresh flowers set on the table. It's time to start over. 


Another chapter ends, a new one begins. The walls in this little room have a story from this year all their own. Maybe someday they'll talk, but today I'm one step closer to painted walls, the zebra rug put out on the floor and the furniture arranged with beautiful flowers on the table. 

The Office

They say the holidays will add ten pounds to your figure. That's all good and fine, if you don't mind a larger girth, but what about the brainwaves? Are they affected by massive sugar consumption? I ask because yesterday was my lifetime record intake of cookies and sweets, and today I was about as dumb as could be. Everything I touched turned to lead. The first thing I did this morning at work was brew coffee...without the coffee. I eagerly went to fill my mug only to find hot water, slightly browned by yesterday's grounds. Gross.

The whole day was like this. One thing after another: oops...woops...oh, uhh. To finish the day, I had a little visit from the computer man. At my desk, I sensed someone behind me and turned to see who it was. A man was there, holding foreign objects in his hand, silent and staring. And standing. And silent. "Hi...is...there something...?" "You called about your computer." "Oh? I don't remember..." "It's buzzing." "Oh YEAH! Yes, it is. But it hasn't. Not today." Silence. "So...do you need to look at my computer?" Computer man moves toward computer. I stand up and leave the cube. "You need to shut it down." "Mmmk." I about-face, fly through shutting down, take my work and leave, flustered.

Clearly not a good day for brainwork. And a good reminder to put brakes on the sugar-glut.

Goodnight.

Becoming Colorado

In this drawn-out quest to transform from California girl to Colorado mountain woman, I've met with some obstacles -- the biggest of which is this Colorado winter. It's a bear. I may, on occasion, be prone to exaggerate...however, this is not one of those occasions. Yesterday morning I drove to work in -11F, not including windchill. That's eleven degrees below zero. My little pink coat simply doesn't cut it anywhere below 50F, and as it was the only coat I had, I was an ice sculpture by the time I reached the office door. That was when I decided it was time. Buying a winter coat was the only logical, adult thing to do (see previous post). 

Guess what. Macy's had a one-day sale yesterday, which was honestly a gift from the Lord Jesus. I know because money is what has kept me from buying a coat and now that I'm on the Dave Ramsey budget, I am being extra careful. There was really only one coat I liked, and it had everything I was looking for: length, belt, pockets, neutral color. But it was $10 over my budget. Don't tell Dave, but I thought it was worth a shot. At the counter, it rang up at about HALF of what I thought it was going to be, and I almost kissed the clerk. On the way in I prayed for a coat within my budget, and this was far under!

You may be wondering why this is such a big deal. I'll tell you. You never realize how much you appreciate basics -- like a winter coat -- until you're without one on a very cold day. When I put that coat on to walk back out to my car, I finally understood why not having a coat is such a big deal, and why good-hearted people work so hard to provide coats to those who don't have one. It's not just uncomfortable to be out in the cold, in some cases it is life-threatening. Life's basics are not negotiable. I guess that's why they're called basics.

It was also a big deal because it has been a need of mine for a long time, and I've been unable to meet it. I can't tell you how happy I was to hand the coat over the counter and then pay for it with money I'd earned. Work is not just something we do to fill time and pay bills. I think it is a matter of survival, whether it's mental, emotional or physical survival. Being able to take care of yourself is fabulous!! I highly recommend it.

So that's my coat story. I'm the proud owner of a beautiful black coat with a big collar. With my bargain I got a whole lot more than I expected, and I'm thankful. God is in the little details, even the ones that keep us warm.

Churn

The blog has been drowned out the last couple weeks, and my brain has been churning but unable to write.  Call it brain hiccups. I don't even have a specific topic tonight, but I do need to write, so I hope whatever comes out makes sense. 

I've been heavy with a new sense of responsibility that hit early November. I am suddenly aware of what an adult life requires, and am thus working hard to put things in place. I was terribly unlike myself for about a year after college, and for the past year have been rebuilding some of what was lost and deciding to leave some things completely out. It's a tortoise race, but progress is being made. 

I believe some children spend their childhoods pretending to be adults, and end up being lousy playmates  but very competent adults. I also believe that some adults spend their adulthoods pretending to be children, and end up being poor at both. I was a child that loved my childhood and remember so many moments filled with wonder and magic. I thought being an adult would come easily, but for some reason it's taking conscious effort. Budgeting, meal planning, furniture shopping, maintaining relationships, setting goals and achieving them, staying active, deciding what's really important and sticking to it, these are all moving parts that I can't always juggle. I want to be good at being grown-up, but I don't want to lose the magic of life. There must be a way to do both. 

Maturity comes with making decisions, with deciding who you're going to be and why, and continuing on even if few others join you. That is the Christian life; it's narrow, it's often difficult, and it requires c-o-m-m-i-t-m-e-n-t of the purest kind. 

I'll have to finish my thoughts later...heading to the gym (regretfully, as it's 4 degrees outside).